


The Breakup Box

by buriednurbckyrd



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Eventual Smut, Little bit of angst, Multi, Polyamory, Reader-Insert, Romance, WIP, plus sized reader, reader just needs to be honest, sam wilson knows everything, steve and bucky are slightly oblivious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:28:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25795891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buriednurbckyrd/pseuds/buriednurbckyrd
Summary: When the Reader comes home from a disastrous weekend getaway secrets begin to unravel.  But maybe that's a good thing.
Relationships: Bucky/Reader/Steve, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 21
Kudos: 100





	1. Chapter 1

She pulled into the parking spot and turned off the car. She sat for a few moments with the keys in her hand, staring off into space. Three days ago she had left the compound excited and happy, and now she was back and it was all she could do not to cry. She rested her forehead against the steering wheel and took several deep breaths. All she wanted was her bed. She wished she had the power to teleport herself there instantly, skip the walk where she could run into any number of people. She clenched her hand around the keys, the sharp metal biting into her skin. Part of her wanted to find them, her two favorite people, and let them wrap her up in their arms. Cry out the rest of her tears and spill the whole humiliating tale. The other part was praying that they were still in Wakanda. They had been when she left. Even though they had been expected back during the weekend she still hoped that they had decided to extend their visit. 

“Get up, you coward,” she muttered to herself. “You can't sit here forever.” She got out of the car and slung her weekend bag over her shoulder before hefting the box that had ridden beside her in the passenger seat. Pushing the door closed with her hip she made her way inside the building. The hallways were blessedly empty and she began to wonder if some luck was finally on her side. But the closer she got to the residential areas she realized there would be no reprieve for her. _Back from Wakanda then_ , she thought. Steve and Bucky were clearly home, laughing and joking with Sam. All three of them were directly in her way, there was no chance of sneaking to her room without being seen. Steeling herself, she walked into the open living space. 

“Y/N!” The super soldiers cried in unison with brilliant smiles. 

“Hey guys.” She replied, trying to keep her voice even and calm. “Have a good trip?” Bucky frowned at her greeting. Y/N shifted uncomfortably, avoiding his eyes. “Hi Sam.” 

“Is everything okay, Y/N?” Steve came around the couch. “Can I help you with your box?” 

“Uh, Steve...” Sam looked at the box in her hands and her expression, things adding up for him. “Maybe we should just let Y/N go on to her room. She's probably tired from her trip.” She felt almost faint from relief. 

“Yeah, I'm um. Pretty beat. Just gonna...” She nodded her head in the vague direction of her room. And then scuttled out of the room as quickly as she could manage. Steve watched her leave in puzzlement. 

“What was that?” He glanced over at Sam. “She didn't even look at me.” 

“Don't take it personal, man. She had the break up box. Obviously her weekend getaway with Mister Boring didn't go well.” 

“Break up box?” Bucky looked confused. Sam sighed.

“You know, after a couple breaks up and you have to pack up the things you've left at your significant others place? The break up box.” He explained. Steve and Bucky shared a look.

“I thought everything was good between them.” Steve said. Sam didn't respond for a few moments, but Bucky noticed the subtle eye roll directed at Steve. 

“I'm sure that's what she wanted to think, and everyone else too. It was only a matter of time if you ask me. That guy was a bowl of plain oatmeal.” He glanced over in the direction she had gone. “I'm only surprised that she didn't dump his ass.” 

“Wait a minute, how do you know she didn't?” Bucky asked. 

“Dude, weren't you like the most dangerous assassin in the world for seventy years? And some legendary lady's man before that? Not to mention the fact that the two of you stick to her like white on rice, following her around like lost little puppies.” 

“What's that got to do with anything?” 

“A lot, actually. I know Shuri's fixed that stabby part of your stellar personality and the Casanova shtick is a thing of the past since I'm pretty sure the only bed you're heating up these days is Steve's.”

“Jesus, Sam.” Steve flushed tomato red. 

“Fuck off.” Bucky growled. 

“She's also like your best friend, right? Don't you know her at all?”

“All right, that's enough,” Steve stepped in before the two men could continue their bickering. “There's no reason to argue, we're all concerned. 

“Just saying, it's not that difficult to figure out what happened if you follow the signs. Especially if you know how to read people,” he shot Bucky a frustrated look. “She was clearly uncomfortable and embarrassed.”

“And she's definitely been crying.” Steve said softly. 

“Put that together with the fact that she was all jazzed about going to see that guy when she left. She expected some romance. And now she's back, upset, and carrying a sad little box of trinkets.” 

“I still don't know how I'm supposed to figure all that out in a span of five minutes.” Bucky huffed. 

“You're not,” Steve said before Sam could say something snide. “And you might be good at reading people, but that doesn't mean you're right. Any number of things could have happened.” He shot back up to his feet. “Anything could have happened. Something to her family. We should go check on her.” Sam picked up the remote and turned on the TV. 

“I'm telling you, it's a break up. And if she wanted to talk about it she wouldn't have run off to her room.” 

…

Y/N shut the box in her closet. She didn't have the emotional energy to even look at it, let alone go through it. She stood in front of her bed, tempted to just strip down, crawl under the blankets, and slip into the oblivion of sleep. 

“No. Go wash your face and brush your damn teeth,” she scolded herself. “I refuse to be a tragic cliche.” She forced herself to take her time, focusing all her thoughts on the tasks at hand. It worked for a little while, until she was in her most comfortable pajamas laying in her bed. Then the thoughts came rushing back. All those bitter words. The accusations. She rolled over and buried her face in a pillow and groaned. 

It had all been a disaster from the beginning. She tried to plan something fun and special and it had blown up in her face spectacularly. Worse, she should have seen it coming. _Well, you know what they say about hindsight._ A timid knock at her door interrupted her self pity. 

“Y/N?” She sat up quickly when Steve called out. Her door cracked open. “Y/N we just wanted to check on you.” She looked over and saw both his and Bucky's worried faces. 

“I'm fine.” She said tightly. “Was there anything else?” She felt terrible when they seemed to flinch at her cool tone. 

“It's just…” Bucky bit his lip before pushing his way into her room. “Sam thinks you were dumped.” He cringed. “I mean...that came out wrong. We just want to make sure you're really okay.” Her eyes blazed with anger. 

“I said I'm fine,” she snapped. “And no offense, but I don't really want to be around a happy, functional couple right now.” She turned away and stared at the wall. 

“Y/N, sweetheart...” Steve took a few steps towards her bed. 

“Seriously, I just want to be alone!” She yelled, and cursed herself when her voice cracked. “Leave me alone.” She whispered, choking back tears. There were a few moments of silence and then she heard the men retreat and shut her door with a quiet click. 

The tears streamed down her cheeks now, she couldn't hold them back anymore. And even though she had ordered Bucky and Steve to leave her room, when she wrapped her arms around herself she couldn't help wishing they hadn't listened. 

And that, she finally admitted to herself, was the root of most, if not all, of her current troubles.


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky became more and more touchy-feely in the following week. Not that Steve was complaining, he loved the fact that they were free to express their bond with more than a casual pat on the back or fleeting hug. But a definite aura of sadness accompanied the extra physical contact. It wasn't just that he was feeling more affectionate; they were both missing Y/N's presence. Sam's comment about the two of them following her around like puppies may have rankled, but it wasn't too far from the truth. 

The attachment between them had formed so quickly, maybe even instantly. She was magnetic. Charming, quick witted, and unfailingly kind. But never a pushover, she could be tough as nails when the occasion called for it. She'd gone toe to toe with General Ross more than once to defend both of them. The animosity he harbored for Bucky and Steve was well known and he never made an attempt to hide it. No one bad mouthed her team in her earshot, no matter how high ranking. How could they not adore her? Loyal to the bone, generous with her time and affection, and a force to be reckoned with in and out of the field. 

But she was avoiding them. For reasons they couldn't comprehend.

“I miss her Steve.” Bucky murmured in the dim early morning light of their bedroom. Steve brushed his hair back from his face, fingers caught in Bucky's dark locks. 

“I do too,” he sighed. “I don't understand why she won't talk to us.” It hurt. Knowing she was hurting but wouldn't let them comfort her. 

“I keep wracking my brain, trying to figure out if I did something.” Bucky pulled away from Steve's sleepy embrace and sat up. 

“Buck, we've been over this. Everything was normal before she spent the weekend with that guy and he broke up with her. It's nothing you or I did.” He pressed a gentle kiss to Bucky's shoulder before he got out of bed to dress for his morning run. 

“I can't stand this!” Bucky sprang out of bed and paced the room like an ill tempered big cat. “She has no problem being around anyone else but the second she sees us, bam! Gone.” 

“You think it's any easier for me?” Steve shot back, pulling on a tshirt. “Because it's not! Every time she refuses to meet my eye, or practically trips over her own feet to get out of a room because I happen to be in it feels like a slap.” He clenched his fists and breathed through the urge to punch the wall. Giving into that hot flash of anger wouldn't help anything, he was better than that. “I just want it to be like it was.” He finally said, relaxing his hands and letting out a long breath. “I miss our girl too.” 

_'Our girl'_. How many times had they called her that? Too many to count, but it still sent a funny little flutter off in both of their stomachs. It was usually a comfort, but that morning it was a dull ache. 

“I'm sorry,” Bucky said quietly. “I didn't...I know it's hard for you too.” He dropped his forehead against Steve's back, his hands both metal and flesh soothed over his stomach. “I don't want to argue with you.” Steve caught the vibranium fingers and gave them a gentle squeeze. 

“I know. And I think it's time we stop letting her run away. I've been trying to be patient, trying to let her come to us but I'm starting to think that isn't going to happen. Something is stopping her, and I want to know why. I know she's going through something but we can't let this continue.” 

…

She wanted a fight. She wanted brutal, desperate, and _bloody_. It would be the only satisfying outlet for the pain. And she cursed herself for those toxic thoughts, so she settled for a punching bag. Focused on the movement, she blocked out the memories that had haunted her for the past week. Sweat ran down her face and stung her eyes but she ignored it. Her muscles were fatigued but she pushed on. She needed to eat, needed a break, but still she continued. 

Y/N wasn't a fool. She wasn't careless or hard-hearted. Of course she had seen the way her actions were hurting Bucky and Steve. They were her best friends, and she wanted to pull them closer even as she held them at a distance. Tears mixed with sweat. It would be so much easier if she didn't lean on them so much. If she didn't _need_ them so much. She screamed in frustration and kicked the heavy bag. A sharp pain jolted up to her hip and she fell back onto the mat with a hiss. 

“Yeah, you're done.” An impatient voice reached her ears. She looked up and saw Sam stalking over to her with a towel and a bottle of water. 

“I didn't know you were in here.” She winced and rubbed her thigh. 

“Not surprised, that was some pity party you were throwing for yourself.” He thrust the water into her hand. “Drink.” He snapped. She unscrewed the top and drank even as she scowled at him. “Stop pouting. Are you actually hurt? Do I need to get you over to medical?” He crossed his arms and looked her up and down. 

“No, it's fine.” She bent and straightened her leg to test it. “Just tired.” She caught the towel she threw at her and dabbed her face. “If you're so annoyed at me you can leave.” 

“Knock it off. It isn't cute anymore.” He sat down next to her on the floor. “Look,” his voice softened. “I know you've been having a rough time. Maybe you haven't said anything about what happened, but I don't think my guess was too far from the truth.” She took another sip of water and nodded. “I figured. And I didn't come in here to yell at you, I think you've been beating up on yourself enough, I don't need to pile on.” 

“It's my fault.” Her throat felt so tight, she could barely say the words. 

“What's your fault?” He asked calmly. She didn't speak for several minutes, but he just sat beside her quietly, waiting. 

“Everything,” she finally said. “What happened,” the tears spilled over again. “Steve and Bucky. I know they're upset.” She wiped at her eyes. “I didn't mean to hurt anyone, Sam.”

“Of course you didn't.” He patted her hand. “You aren't a malicious person,   
Y/N. No one thinks you are.” 

“God,” she let out a humorless laugh. “Stop being nice to me, I don't deserve it. I've been a complete fuck up.” 

“Hey, that's my friend you're smack talking.” 

“Stop it,” she finally faced him, her eyes blazing. “I know I'm being an idiot! That's part of the problem! Knowing you're the shit head but you can't help it.” Sam leaned back on his hands. 

“Well that's nonsense.” He told her. “No, you just be quiet for a minute.” He cut her off before she could begin her next tirade. “You know what the problem is. If you know that, then you know the solution. It's not that you can't help it, it's that you don't want to fix it.”

“What? Of course I want to fix it!” She shot to her feet. 

“Then do it.” He stood up and gripped her shoulders. “I've been watching you punish yourself for a damn week, and it's enough.” He gave her a little shake. “You're an intelligent woman, Y/N. Stop avoiding the issue and face it, whatever it is. It won't go away until you do.” 

“You don't understand,” more tears came. “I could ruin _everything_. Even worse than it is now.” Sam saw the fear in her eyes so he chose his next words with care. 

“But this can't go on, honey,” he said gently. “What happens next time we all get sent out with a job to do? Whatever's hanging over your head, it's gotta be dealt with. You know what a lack of communication can lead to in the field.” She was quiet again, and then let out a long sigh after a few minutes. Sam knew he'd finally gotten through to her. 

“You're right. I'll handle it. Try to fix it.” 

“I have all the faith in the world.” 

…

The anxiety built up into a solid iron ball in her stomach as she stood under the steaming water in her shower. Her conversation with Sam replayed in her head and her cheeks burned with shame. How had things gotten to this point? When did she start lying to herself and the most important people in her life? She stepped out of the shower and dried off. 

No more. She pressed a hand against her rolling stomach and took a deep breath. It was time to get dressed and face the music. Whatever happened...at least it wouldn't be hanging over her anymore. Looking in the mirror and running her fingers through her damp hair, she gave herself a pep talk. She was nervous, but determined. 

Mind made up, she left the bathroom to go find Steve and Bucky. Only she didn't have far to go, the two men were sitting on her bed waiting for her. 

“Y/N,” Steve said, the two of them standing up. “We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't promise an update every day but the comments some of y'all left just made me so happy and I wanted to write more for you! Thank you for the comments and kudos, the support means so much!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy this was emotional to write. I still can't promise updates are going to continue as regularly as they have been but I'm gonna strike while the iron is hot and write as much as I can. Thank you again for reading and leaving comments/kudos.

_Not here_ , was her first thought. It was too personal, too _intimate_ to have the conversation when she slept. But where? What could be neutral ground but also private enough that no one else could overhear what needed to be said? 

“The water,” she blurted out. “I mean...” She paused and swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yes. We do need to talk, but can you meet me over by the water in a few minutes?” Bucky's face remained impassive but Steve nodded. 

“Okay, five minutes. We'll meet you there.” He started to turn but Bucky held his arm out to stop him.

“So you can have a chance to bolt? I don't think so, we'll go together.” 

“Come on, Buck.” Steve sighed. 

“No, that's fair.” Y/N said quietly. “I wasn't going to leave,” she shot Bucky a pleading look as if silently begging him to believe her. “But I haven't exactly given either of you reason to trust me not to.” She turned and took a zippered hoodie from her closet and slipped it on. There was a chill around her and she expected it would linger until the air was cleared. Knowing they would follow behind, she started walking. 

What would she even say? Before she had seen them she thought she had known. It was completely foreign experience for her. There were never awkward silences between the three of them, she could tell them anything and everything. Hadn't Bucky been willing to share the darkest parts of his past? And Steve was always telling her stories of their childhood, good and bad. She hesitated for a moment at the door, overwhelmed by the onslaught of emotions. Fear licked up her spine and her entire body went numb with it. 

“Y/N?” Steve touched her shoulder gently and it jolted her back to reality. She shoved the door open and forced her legs to continue to move. Her chest tightened and she fought the urge to hyperventilate and kept her breaths deep and even. She realized the only thing she wanted was one of their hugs which never failed to make her feel safe and secure. Another icy shard bloomed in her belly at the thought. She prayed after it was over that could still be an option. 

They followed her to the casual seating area by the large pond on the property. The late afternoon sun gleamed over the water. It was tranquil and quiet. Y/N was too full of anxious energy to sit so she paced. Steve nudged Bucky with his elbow. 

“Be patient, okay?” He said quietly. “She's here, that's half the battle. Let her go at her own pace.” Bucky replied with an annoyed sound, but he made no move to prod Y/N along. 

“Could you, I don't know…just sit down or something?” She finally said after a long silence. “You're making me more nervous standing like that.” Steve settled down on a bench and gestured at Bucky to join him. She stopped in front of them and looked up. “I don't even know where to begin.” She told them, misery written all over her face. 

“Could start with an apology.” Bucky muttered under his breath and grunted when Steve kicked his shin. 

“I really do apologize for how I acted,” she wrung her hands together. “Neither of you did anything wrong and I should have just been honest.” She pressed her fingers over her eyes, refusing to cry. “I'm so, so sorry. I've been dealing with a lot of shit but there's no excuse for treating either of you like I did.” Steve leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. 

“What happened, Y/N? I just want to understand.” He looked over at the other man. “We want to understand.” 

“Short story? I got dumped. And before that, I was totally humiliated.” Bucky crossed his arms.

“Gonna need the long story, sweetheart.” The pet name, however briskly delivered gave her a small flame of hope. 

“I figured.” She began to pace again. “I was a fucking idiot. I planned this whole getaway because I couldn't see what was right in front of me. And that's embarrassing enough on its own, but it gets worse. I told him, hey, you always plan our dates let me do this. Booked a fancy hotel room, probably the nicest place I've ever stayed in my whole life. Tony helped me get a reservation at this amazing new sushi restaurant, which I thought would be such a great surprise since he had mentioned wanting to try it when it opened. 

And like a chump I didn't notice how antsy he was about it all. Disappeared when I checked us in. Practically sprinted to the room.” She let out a bitter laugh. “Tried to sweet talk me out of going to dinner. Which I almost fell for, but I had a brand new dress and I wanted to wear it. I wanted to go eat world class cuisine with my boyfriend and feel like a princess.” She chewed on her thumbnail. “Everything went smooth a silk. I felt pretty, the food was incredible, so far it was a perfect night. Then on our way out he suddenly turns green. Not because the food didn't agree with him, but because we run into a group of his friends. And introduces me as a client.” 

“Excuse me?” Steve sounds stunned. 

“Yup. Not his girlfriend of nearly ten months. A client of the company he works for.” 

“Why?” Bucky demands. 

“Oh believe me, as soon as we were alone I asked. Kind of wish I didn't.” She gestured at her body. “Because of this. Because according to him, I don't look like a believable romantic partner for him.” 

“You're fucking joking.” 

“Hand to god, Buck. I have more stamina than he could ever hope to achieve, not to mention the fact that I could literally hand him his own ass. But because I don't look a certain way, don't meet some set of societal standards I wasn't good enough to be seen with him by people he knew. Then all those nagging little red flags were suddenly clear as day. He always took me to obscure little places. Never any place popular or busy if we went out. Most of the time he invited me to his place for dinner and I thought it was sweet and romantic that he wanted to cook for me. He made me into a fool.”

“Please tell me you don't believe that,” Steve stood up and grabbed her hands. “Y/N, you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life, inside and out. That guy is the one that should be ashamed.” She smiled softly and drew her hands back. 

“Thanks. I know he's the one that's lacking. He's the one that isn't good enough for me. But it doesn't mean that it didn't sting.” She blew out a long breath. “Him coming back to the hotel to drop of that box of my belongings was a pretty big slap in the face too. Just let all the hotel staff know how stupid I was.” 

“Stop saying that,” Bucky finally spoke up. “I can't stand it when you put yourself down.” 

“Sorry,” she scrubbed her hands over her face. “I know it's a bad habit.” 

“Y/N, why didn't you end it then and there? Why did you let him break it off?” Steve asked.

“Because I was a coward, don't argue with me right now Bucky, I was. And even though he was wrong about almost everything he wasn't about the biggest issue.” Her heart started to race, was she actually going to do this? 

“What issue?” Bucky prompted. She looked at the both of them, eyes sad. 

“I didn't really want to be with him. If I had, I never would have overlooked all the ways he mistreated me, disrespected me. Every resentment and accusation just spilled out then, and there was absolutely nothing I could do or say because it was all true.” She couldn't stop the tears any more, and it felt like weakness. “Shit, I wasn't going to cry. I'm not trying to get pity or anything.” 

“Didn't think that for a second.” Bucky said softly, his heart ached for his friend. 

“Everything is my fault,” she said bitterly. “I did the only thing I promised I would never do, I lied. To him, to myself.” She choked on a sob. “To both of you.” Steve reached out for her. “No, don't.”

“What are you talking about? What did you lie about?” His blue eyes were so full of concern. She shook her head violently. 

“I can't tell you!” She yelled. “But I can't _not_ tell you either!”

“Y/N, please whatever it is-” 

“I can't be around you anymore and keep it in, that's why I keep running away. But if I tell you and lost you both I couldn't bear it!” She held her head in her hands and trembled. Both men tried to get a hold of her but she dodged them.

“There's nothing you could say that would make us walk away from you.” Bucky said in a thick voice. 

“He's right, you're our girl, Y/N.” Steve meant it to be comforting but it only upset her more. 

“Am I though?” She wiped her eyes furiously. “Because I love you.” She looked at them both, and her shoulders slumped. “I'm in love with you, both of you.” Steve and Bucky could only stare at her in shock. “That's why I kept running, I can't keep all this,” she pressed her hands over her heart. “Locked away anymore. I was hoping maybe I could get it under control, but I can't. Being around you both is so overwhelming. I don't deserve your forgiveness because it was selfish. It's selfish telling you, and I never wanted to put you in this position.” 

“Y/N...” Steve reached for her again. 

“I don't expect anything.” Her voice was flat, as if all the wind had gone out of her sails. “You have each other and all I want is you to be happy together.” She gasped when Bucky's vibranium hand closed over her wrist, pulling her roughly towards him. His other hand was warm and gentle when it cupped her cheek, and before she knew what was happening his lips were on hers. When he pulled away her eyes were as big as saucers. “What?” Steve swept in before she could finish her thought and kissed her too, holding her against his body. 

“Our girl.” He murmured into her ear. She found herself sandwiched between the two of them. 

“You always were.” Bucky told her and she could the smile in his voice.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning: so much fluff ahead. i've been listening to lewis capaldi all day and his voice just puts me in that mood i guess

Afterwards she was exhausted. Over a week of restless sleep, overexertion, and emotional distress had left her completely drained. As much as they wanted to continue the discussion Bucky and Steve could see Y/N was running on fumes. She tried to insist she was fine, but they walked her back to her room, placed gently kisses on her forehead and told her they would talk after she got some much needed rest. Since her mind was fuzzy after everything that had happened she didn’t put up any fight. The last thing she remembered was falling into her bed.

She slept soundly until morning.

She woke with a soft groan, realizing she hadn’t moved an inch since she fell asleep and it was after eight o’clock. She stretched like a cat to loosen her cramped muscles. Absently rubbing at the back of her neck she wondered if Steve would work the knot out of her shoulder. _Steve. Bucky. I told them I’m in love with them. And then they kissed me._

She touched her fingertips to her lips and they curved into a smile as she remembered the feeling. Knowing they still had a lot to talk about, but surely that was a good sign. Right? Happier than she could remember being in a long time she slide out of bed to dress for the day. Heading towards the kitchen she picked up her phone and sent off a text to Bucky.

_Pancakes?_

Knowing they were one of his favorites, she started pulling out the necessary ingredients. She’d made them so often for him and the rest of the team she no longer needed to look at a recipe. When his reply came through his enthusiasm made her giggle at her screen. 

_Bucky: Yes pls!!! Be there in a min Steve says I have to put on pants._

Chuckling to herself, she put some bacon in a pan and started a fresh pot of coffee. The breakfast felt important some how. A little bit of a continuation of her apology, but also the first morning after putting all her cards on the table. A part of her still worried she would wake up from the dream or they would change their minds and shun her. Suddenly her throat felt like it would close up and the doubts would swallow her whole. 

“Stop overthinking whatever’s going through that brain of yours,” Bucky’s voice was still slightly rough from sleep. “You have worried face.” He smiled at her. 

“’Morning Y/N, Bucky said you’re making pancakes?” Steve poured himself a cup of steaming coffee. Dropping a kiss on the top of her head he peeked at the stove. “And bacon? You’re too good to us.” 

“Honestly it’s kind of part two of my apology,” she turned the strips of meat so they wouldn’t burn. “I wanted to do something nice for you both.” 

“Hey, we’re good,” Bucky took her hand and rubbed his thumb over the top. “You don’t owe us anything. Not that I’m about to turn down breakfast.” 

“Still, I really made a mess of everything.” She poured batter onto the griddle. “And clearly there’s more we need to talk about. Cooking is a good outlet for my nervous energy.” 

“Why would you be nervous?” 

“Because- wait. Let me finish this.” She shot them a timid smile. “Maybe you could set the table? These won’t take long, and the bacon is nearly done.” They shared a look but nodded and did as she asked. Y/N tried to keep her mind on the task in front of her. Even though she had woken up feeling happy and hopeful, now she couldn’t help but wonder if she had read everything wrong. She flipped the last few pancakes onto a platter and carried it over to the table. Bucky’s eyes brightened and he immediately slide some on to his plate. Y/N only watched the two men dig into their food, finding her stomach was unsettled again with anxiety. 

“Aren’t you gonna have some Y/N?” Steve asked her, looking concerned. 

“I don’t think I could tolerate food at the moment,” she tried a reassuring smile. “I’m okay, I’ll eat in a bit.” Bucky dropped his fork and frowned at her.

“Talk to us, sweetheart. I thought we cleared everything up yesterday.” 

“Did we?” She picked at her nails. “Because all I remember is telling you that I’m in love with both of you, kissing both of you, and being sent to bed.” Her face burned. “God, why is this so awkward?” Steve reached out and took her hand. 

“You were exhausted,” he said gently. “But I’m sorry we didn’t do more to ease your mind. We’re here now and we’ll do our best to make sure we’re on the same page.” 

“I guess I just want to know where we stand? I never imagined I would ever admit any of this so I have no idea what happens next.” They shared another one of those infuriating looks, one that she just knew was a whole telepathic conversation in a few seconds. 

“We talked a lot last night,” Bucky said after their interlude and looked at her apologetically. “Not to shut you out or anything, that was never our intention. And well…” 

“We owe you an apology too.” Steve finished. 

“Huh? For what?” 

“We haven’t been honest about our feelings either.” Bucky told her. 

“Maybe if we had, none of this would have happened.” Steve’s expression was heartbreaking. 

“What do you mean?” 

“We mean the feelings are mutual, Doll.” Bucky grinned. “I’m in love with you right back.” 

“Same for me, Y/N,” Steve added. “Probably from the very beginning.” When she couldn’t find words he slipped from his chair and knelt beside her. “Back in during the war, when I watched Bucky fall,” he paused to swallow the lump in his throat. “I thought that was it, I’d never get the chance to tell him how I really felt. I never thought any of this would happen. Crashing into the ice, getting unfrozen, finding Bucky again, getting him back… I got my second chance.” He looked up at the other man, who had moved to stand behind Y/N, resting his mismatched hands on her shoulders. “None of this should be possible, but some how it is. I felt like the luckiest man in the world and then you walked into our lives and I couldn’t fathom how much fortune I was having just poured on my lap. You wound around my heart the first time I heard you laugh and I didn’t reach out because how could I dare to wish for more love?” 

“Steve,” she was crying again. “You deserve all the love in the world.” He wiped the tears on her cheeks. 

“I realized that I truly am the luckiest man in the world,” his own eyes filled. “The moment you told us how you felt, because I’m getting the chance to love two of the most amazing people in this whole messed up world.” Bucky pulled her out of her chair and cupped her face in his hands. 

“I spent seventy years in cold and darkness. After all the things I’ve done, I didn’t think I deserved any of this. As long as you and Steve let me, I’ll do whatever I can to prove I am.” 

“Always.” She whispered. “Til the end of the line.” This time she initiated, her arms went around Bucky’s neck and she pulled him down as she went up on her tip toes. His lips were salty, from her tears and his, but it didn’t matter. She registered the sensation of his hands stroking down her back, gently gripping her hips. A second set of arms went around her middle and another pair of lips trailed over her neck. 

“Does this answer your questions?” Steve murmured in her ear. “Clear everything up?” 

“Almost,” she turned and tugged him down to her. “I just need to check one more thing.” He grinned and nipped at her lips before sinking into the kiss with a soft sound that might have been a groan. They gently broke away and she swore her lips were buzzing. 

“We know you’ve had a rough go with guys planning dates for you,” Bucky nuzzled against her neck. “But we would really like it if you would let us take you out.”

“Will you trust us to plan something special for you, please?” Steve kissed her knuckles. 

“I’ve trusted you both with my life more times than I can count, of course I do.” Unable to resist any more she buried her face in Steve’s chest. “I missed this. I missed hugging you guys.” 

“Never gonna let you go again. You’re stuck with us now.” Bucky poked her in the side where he knew she was ticklish. She let out an undignified squeak like he knew she would. “I can’t wait to take you out on a proper date.” His voice had dropped an octave, rumbling through her body. “We’re gonna show you how you should be treated, Doll.” His promise was made all the sweeter by the dark suggestion of his desire. When she flicked her eyes up to meet Steve’s, she saw raw need in them. Things were definitely crystal clear.


	5. Chapter 5

It felt odd to go about her normal daily routine. How was a person supposed to carry on business as usual after being kissed senseless by two super soldiers? It was more than a little embarrassing to admit to herself that she would have let them have her right there in the kitchen where anyone could have walked in and seen. She knew she hadn’t imagined feeling the evidence of their shared excitement pressed against her and thinking about it sent sparks of hot lust through her body. When rational thought became possible she was thankful they had the sense to stop before everything got overheated. 

It was a little strange to sit and eat pancakes like they hadn’t just rubbed up on each other. Y/N frowned while she changed into her workout clothes. Her invitation to join her in the gym was politely declined. Steve and Bucky kissed her cheeks and disappeared with an annoying air of mystery. _Oh well_ , she thought. _At least I know where we stand now, and there’s almost no one I trust more then them._

Deciding to go easy after her week of self imposed punishment she put on a soothing playlist and went through her modified routine, and made a point of skipping a round with the punching bag. Her now ex always made seemingly casual or offhanded comments about how her exercise habits must not be doing much. Now, she couldn’t remember why she had ever laughed them off. And because those thoughts were bringing down her happy mood she vowed to put him out of her mind. _He’s not worth it, he doesn’t get to make me feel bad about myself anymore._

“Hey you.” Y/N nearly fumbled the weight she was holding. 

“Natasha?” She set it down and rushed over to her friend leaning in the doorway. “Shit, I’m pretty sweaty but I really wanna hug you.” Natasha just laughed and embraced her. 

“I haven’t seen you in two months, I don’t care.” 

“How was DC.?” 

“Really, really boring. But I shouldn’t have to go back again for a nice long time.” The red head grinned. “Ross still can’t stand you. Bruce is still at the top of his black list but you’re creeping up there.” 

“Well shucks, I’m honored.” 

“According to him you’re ‘a razor tongued harpy’ and ‘an undignified brat with no respect for authority’.” 

“Am I now?” 

“He told Fury he should dismiss you from the team immediately.”

“Bet he just loved that.” Y/N laughed.

“More or less told him where he could put his opinion. I wouldn’t worry about your position, Fury’s got your back. Along with every other person you’ve ever worked with.”

“Ross doesn’t scare me, he might be high ranking but underneath it all he’s just a bully. If he keeps my friends’ names out of his mouth he’ll have no more grief from me.” She walked around the gym wiping down and putting away the equipment she had used.

“We all know he’s incapable of keeping his mouth shut so I look forward to the next harpy appearance.” Natasha said with mirth. “But enough about all of that. How are you doing?” Y/N looked up at her friend, confused. 

“I’m fine, why?” 

“Sam was on his way out as I was on my way in,” Natasha said. “He might have mentioned your recent breakup.” 

“Oh, that.” She drank from her water bottle. “I’m really okay. Better than I have been in a long time.” 

“Then you made up with Rogers and Barnes too?” 

“Sam sure had a lot to say for someone on his way out.”

“The man is a shameless gossip.” Natasha shrugged. Y/N sighed and chuckled. 

“I need a shower before we have girl talk.” The other woman fell in step beside her. 

“That gives me time to find something to eat. I wanna hear _everything_.”

…

An hour later Natasha and Y/N were settled on their favorite couch with a bowl of popcorn between them. Natasha refrained from commenting until the entire story was finished, letting Y/N tell her everything that had happened. 

“Well,” the red head said after a few beats. “It’s about time.” Y/N blinked.

“Really? That’s it? That’s your reaction?” Natasha shrugged.

“The three of you have been dancing around this for _ever_. I honestly can’t believe you dated that idiot for as long as you did.” She looked at Y/N seriously. “Why did you go out with him?” The question took her by surprise. 

“I’d like to say I don’t know,” she said. “But you’d know I was lying.” 

“I would.”

“I didn’t think any of this was possible. I thought I’d just watch and wish and hurt and I wanted to pretend that maybe I could move on and stop pining.” Her voice had dropped to a whisper. “And maybe it wasn’t good but I couldn’t stand being alone.” 

“I hate that you were so unhappy. I could see it but I didn’t know what to do. I probably should have interfered.” Natasha laughed softly. “We’re all dumb asses, huh?” 

“I think it had to happen like this? That sounds so corny but I guess things do happen for a reason.” 

“True. You ended up here and that’s the point I guess.” She grinned. “And speaking of point, you know you’re honor bound by girl code to give me all the salacious details when you get more than a sample in the kitchen.” 

“All of it? You really want to know every detail?” 

“On second thought, just the highlights might suffice. I still have to work with them.” They both laughed. “You really do look happier than I’ve ever seen you. Haven’t seen them yet but I imagine it’s about the same.” 

“I hope so,” Y/N bit her lip. “Can I admit something?” Natasha nodded. “This all feels like a dream. There’s a part of me that doesn’t believe it, and I’m so scared that I’ll wake up and it won’t be real. Or even worse, it is real and they’ll decide it was a huge mistake and our relationship is destroyed. I thought just telling them would ruin everything and now I can’t tell if I’m over the moon or terrified. Or both at the same time.” Her head dropped back. “I’m a fucking mess.” 

“Messy or not, those two boys are head over heels for you so relax and just go with it for now. Don’t overthink it.” 

“I hope I’m as confident as you are when I grow up.” 

“First of all, you’re what, six months younger than I am? Second of all, fake it until you make it, baby.” A quiet throat clearing interrupted them. “Oh, hey Steve, Barnes.” 

“Good to see you back, Nat.” Steve told her. “It was quiet around here while you were in DC.” 

“Sounds like there was still plenty of excitement without me.” She said with a suggestive glance at the three of them. A pink blush bloomed on Steve’s face. Natasha laughed and stood up, walking over the Steve and patting him on the cheek. 

“We’ll catch up later, I get the feeling you three want some private time.” She laughed while she left, Steve and Bucky both looked down at their feet with embarrassed grins. 

“Hi.” She said a little shyly. 

“Hey there, Doll.” Bucky leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. “Sorry for leaving you hanging earlier.” 

“It’s fine,” she reassured them. “And you’re here now.” They sat down on either side of her, both taking one of her hands. 

“We’re hoping you’re free tomorrow night,” Steve said. “We thought tonight might be too last minute.” He gave her fingers a squeeze. 

“And we want everything to be perfect for our first date.” Bucky told her. Their faces were so earnest and sweet, Y/N felt her heart stutter. 

“We can do something low key, don’t feel like you need to make a big fuss.” 

“You’re worth a big fuss,” Steve kissed her. “This isn’t the most conventional beginning to a relationship but we want it to be special.” 

“Don’t you worry about a thing. We have it all planned.” Bucky sounded so proud of himself. She giggled and wrapped her arms around him. 

“I can’t wait.” Bucky and Steve shared a look over her head. They couldn’t wait either, it was past time she was shown how she deserved to be treated.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the wait, I hope you enjoy ♥

Y/N smoothed her hands nervously over the skirt of her dress after she slid into the back seat of one of the sporty yet comfortable sedans at their disposal at the compound. To her surprise Bucky opened the other door and sat next to her instead of the front passenger seat beside Steve like she expected. 

“Hope you don’t mind the company.” He told her with a wink. 

“You know I don’t,” she replied with warm cheeks. “I just feel bad for Steve alone in the front.” She fiddled with the fabric again. “Are you sure I’m not over or under dressed? Since you won’t tell me where you’re taking me?” Bucky pulled her closer to his side and kissed her temple. 

“Doll, you look absolutely perfect. You always do.” 

“Seconded.” Steve said as he pulled out of the garage. Y/N met his eyes in the rear view mirror. The heated affection in his gaze lessened some of her tension. She startled when Bucky brushed her hair off her shoulder and almost nuzzled her neck. 

“You smell so good,” his voice was low and gravely. “’M so glad I don’t have to hide what you do to me anymore.” 

“Buck.” Steve’s light warning came. “We’re gentlemen.” 

“You’ve both already kissed me stupid, what are you worried about?” Did her voice always sound so breathless? Bucky chuckled and separated himself from her but laced his fingers with hers a compromise. 

“Maybe we have, but he’s right. You deserve a nice first date before we forget about manners.” He shot her one of his crooked grins that always made her heart flutter. “My Mamma would come out of her grave and tan our hides if we didn’t properly court you.”

“I can’t decide if your chivalry is charming or damned frustrating.” 

“It’s definitely both,” Steve laughed. “But you deserve to be wined and dined, Y/N. And we both want to give you a little romance before the...er…”

“Fondue?” She suggested, throwing a cheeky smile at Bucky. 

“Yeah, uh, that.” Steve cleared his throat. “And we like spending time with you. Like Bucky said, it’s nice to have all our feelings on the table, No pretending anymore, not trying to suppress anything.”

“Gonna play footsie with me, boys?” She asked and slid her foot up Bucky’s calf. Her nerves faded away and her normal playful side was coming back out. There was no reason to be anxious around them, she reminded herself. Adding romance into their relationship didn’t change their closeness, it only enhanced it. 

“There’s that feisty little kitten,” Bucky said. “I missed her.” 

“Still finding my place in all this,” she replied. “But don’t think I won’t put you in yours.” Steve made a sound that might have been a groan. 

“We’re all figuring it out together, Doll. And you’re making it real difficult to behave.” He shifted in his seat. 

“Fortunately for our distracted driver, it seems we have arrived at our destination.” Bucky laughed. Y/N looked out the window and gasped.

“This is my favorite restaurant!” Bucky unfolded his lanky frame from the car and jogged around to the other side to open her door. 

“I guess the courting is off to a good start then.” Steve got out and locked the car, slipping the keys into his pocket. He held his hand out to her and smiled.

“May we escort you inside?” Y/N took his hand and stood up, reaching for Bucky.

“You’re my two favorite people in the whole world, you know that right?” Both men flushed and looked down at their joined hands. 

“Well...we’d do just about anything for you Y/N.” Bucky said a little bashfully. Steve squeezed her fingers gently.

“We need you to know, this isn’t _us_ and _you_. It’s all three of us, together.” The two men shared a glance and then looked back to her. 

_“’Til the end of the line.”_ They said in unison. The significance of their words rocked her, nearly had her stumbling over. Unable to speak yet, she tugged them closer, going up on her tip toes to kiss Steve, and then Bucky softly. 

_“I’m with you.”_ She said fiercely. She cleared her throat and swallowed the lump of emotions. “Let’s go eat.” 

…

She dissolved into a fit of giggles sitting between the two of them when Bucky speared a dolma with his fork, sniffed it and eyed it suspiciously. 

“It’s a leaf?” 

“Didn’t they have Greek restaurants back in the Forties?” She teased him. 

“Well, yeah, probably.” He frowned. “Did you like it?” He asked Steve. 

“It’s good! The leaf is just the outside.” He reassured the other man. 

“It’s stuffed with rice and meat and spices. They’re delicious, I promise.” Bucky looked at her warily but brought the fork to his lips and took a small bite. He didn’t balk at the flavor and chewed thoughtfully. He swallowed with a smile and popped the rest of it into his mouth. 

“Okay we definitely have to come back here now.” Y/N nudged her knee against his thigh.

“Told you.” She pushed her plate away and leaned back. “I don’t know if I have enough room left for dessert. And their Baklava is not to be missed.” She pouted. “I can’t keep up with your super solider appetites.” 

“You can get yours to go.” Steve offered. He was still working on a large slice of spanakopita. 

“I guess I can eat it for breakfast tomorrow.” She laughed. “I’ll have to hide it in the fridge so Sam doesn’t find it.”

“About that…” Bucky began. 

“Hmm?” 

“What if we didn’t go back to the compound tonight?” He asked her.

“Where would we go? What did you have in mind?” 

“I hope you don’t think we were being presumptuous,” Steve said. “We booked a suite at the hotel for a couple of nights.” 

“For privacy,” Bucky added. “Alone time for the three of us.” 

“Natasha packed a bag for you.” Steve scratched the back of his neck and blushed. “But if you’d rather just go back home it’s okay. Whatever makes you most comfortable.” Bucky gripped her hand and she could feel his anxiety.

“I thought it might be a nice surprise, but there’s no pressure.” 

“It’s kind of nice to see you two nervous for a change.” She grinned and took a sip of her wine. “But you don’t need to be. I’d love to spend some ‘alone time’ with you.” They both sighed in relief, making her chuckle. “Were you really that afraid I’d be mad or say no?” 

“No? Sort of?” Steve winced and thought for a moment. “It feels like a walking a very thin line.” He finally said. “We want you, want to be _with_ you,” his voice lowered. “You have to know how hard it’s been to not just…” he trailed off and she could see his Adam’s apple bob when he swallowed. Feeling bold, she rested her hand on his knee. 

“Why don’t you tell me just how _hard_ it’s been, Stevie.” She purred. 

“Jesus Christ,” he suppressed a shudder. “You know what I meant.” Bucky’s lips were at her ear.

“Evil little minx, aren’t you?” 

“I don’t want you to feel like we’re taking advantage, that’s all.” Steve gritted out. Deciding to be kind, she backed off with a gentle smile. 

“I would never think that.” She reassured him. “I know your heart, Steve.” She turned her head slightly. “And yours, Bucky. I like surprises, I like that you take a little initiative. I trust you both, and you can trust me. If there’s something I don’t like, I’ll let you know.” They caught the double meaning of her words. Knowing she had their attention, she continued. “Communication is key, my loves. Don’t forget that.” Steve fidgeted again. 

“On the topic of communication, I do want you to know something before we commit to a decision.” His expression made her want to wrap him up in a hug. 

“Of course, you can tell me anything.” She took his hands in hers. 

“I’ve um, never been with a woman.” He muttered. “I mean, I’ve been with a few women but never ahhh…in the Biblical sense.” He looked down at their linked hands. “I’ve only been with Bucky that way.” Y/N was taken aback. Not surprised, Steve wasn’t one to philander and she knew that. She considered her response carefully. 

“That’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” she said. “And you’re sure this is something you want...with me?” This time Steve couldn’t stop the shiver that went up his spine and barely stopped the pleasured sound that rose in his throat just at the brief fantasy that flashed in his mind. 

“I’m very sure, Doll.” He answered in a husky voice. Y/N slid one of her hands up his forearm and it surprised him that a seemingly chaste caress like that could feel so decadent and seductive. 

“Then I’m very honored, Captain.” She looked over her shoulder at Bucky. “And I definitely haven’t forgotten about you, Sergeant.”

“Never thought for a moment you had.” He brushed his thumb over the back of her neck. “I think maybe we all order our dessert to go and get headed over to the hotel before things get even more heated.” 

“You’re just full of great ideas, aren’t you?” Y/N traced her fingers over the buttons of his shirt. “I’m ready for the rest of my date.” She bit her lip and looked up at Bucky with dark eyes. He felt his breath hitch as he lifted a hand to signal their waiter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really happy with this chapter! I hope you enjoyed it!! As always, your comments and feedback help keep me going. Thank you for reading ♥

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write a full poly relationship fic. I have dabbled with Steve/Reader/Bucky in a previous work, but it was pretty much all porn and I wanted to start something with a little more substance. (But also porn, let's not kid ourselves.)
> 
> I'd dearly love and appreciate any feedback! I have a loose idea of how this is going to play out, and your comments would really help keep the muse going.


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